Binding Affinity

missdorotheabrooke:

romance is to people with strong tough emotionally hardened attitudes as BDSM is to people with sensitive compassionate self-repressed attitudes

That is to say, the concept of creating a fantasy world into which we can enter with another person, and personify the roles that we wish we could in real life but feel incapable of fully expressing

they are fantasylands created for the purpose of fully embodying ourselves in our dream selves, the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden

Those who are vulnerable about the completeness of themselves; that they can both love and hate, fight and make peace, rule and be ruled

the hardened soul channels pure sensitivity and compassion into her One True Love

the deferential nice person channels her desire for aggression and absolute power over another into being a dominatrix

Of course, the difference between ‘real life’ self and romance/kink self is not so simple as that many or most of the time. Cuz we’re complicated. There are also, I imagine, plenty of people who are both romantic and kinky, because there are parts of them that are hard and parts of them that are soft. But I think both are generally about attaining a certain relationship to another person or love-object that we feel unable to attain except in the shelter of the myths of romance/kink. Romance is about unleashing the spirit of connection and creation of a whole unit, and BDSM is about unleashing the spirit of that we are essentially separate from the other, serving different functions, hierarchy and separation.